We’ve written for 28 days. Before we get a break, let’s go full-on silly. Pick something ridiculous to write about. Want some inspiration? Here we go….
Welcome to the Wikipedia Article for Ducks, You Fucking Moron BY BRETT SHOLLENBERGER in McSweeney's
Actually, Becoming A Cyborg Assassin Has Been Great For Me by Audrey Clark on The Belladonna
Welcome to Mars! By Ethan Simon and Nicky Guerreiro in The New Yorker
Old MacDonald Had a Farm by Miriam Jayaratna on Greener Pastures
How to Get the Ultimate Beach Body by Rachel Deutsch on Greener Pastures
Pick something you find super embarrassing about yourself – could be you have acne that you hate, or that you fart whenever you get nervous, or that you sweat bullets when you give a work presentation. It could be a single event – that date where you got diarrhea or that one time you got drunk in front of your boss. Now take that humiliating pain and write about it!
Inspiration:
IT’S GREAT TO HANG OUT AFTER SELF-ISOLATING FOR A YEAR — I’M NOT ACTING WEIRD, AM I? by AUDREY FARNSWORTH
Nothing sells a piece like a good title. So with just a few days of our challenge left, let’s take a day to revisit some old pieces and punch up their titles. Choose three prompts from earlier in the month and write 10 titles for each – that’s 30 titles. You can choose pieces where you’ve already written a draft, or you can choose prompts where you haven’t written anything.
Extra Credit for today’s prompt! For each piece you choose, write a different title based on where you might submit it. So write a title for:
OR, if your title is newsy
The Onion
Reductress
Inspirational titles – notice how the joke is right there and it is so clear:
Free Yourself from Literacy, with Emojis Film by Dan Rosen and Sam Bronowski on the New Yorker
New Apps to Optimize Your Anxiety By Katie O’Hanlon Illustration by Noël Wells
Early Signs That Your Infant May Be a Byronic Hero By Kate Gavino
The Knights Templar Are Urgently Hiring By Jiji Lee and Patrick Clair
It’s Becoming Pretty Clear that the Crossword Constructor Is Going Through Something By Broti Gupta
America!: Joe Manchin Writes a Romance Novel By Ali Fitzgerald
Other Books That Might Make the Children Uncomfortable By Johanna Gohmann and Wendi Aarons
UNFORTUNATELY, WE CAN’T HIRE YOU AFTER SEEING THAT 2010 PHOTO OF YOU DRINKING A BEER WHEN YOU WERE SIXTEEN BY RACHEL KELLER
YOU’RE INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY FUNDRAISER—ALSO, MY HUSBAND IS ON THE SUPREME COURT BY NICOLE BECKLEY
VLADIMIR PUTIN MAY HAVE LAUNCHED AN UNPROVOKED INVASION OF UKRAINE, BUT AT LEAST HE’S NEVER ASKED YOU TO USE A SAME-SEX BATHROOM BY DEVORAH BLACHOR
Today’s prompt comes from the very funny, Oregonian of your dreams, GracieBeaver-Kairis. She also has a February birthday, so to honor that, please follow her great prompt:
Write a humorous or satirical itinerary for a birthday party being held for a celebrity/public figure, a fictional character, or an inanimate object. (For example, "You're Invited to Holden Caulfield's Totally Lit Sweet 16!")
As always, some inspiration:
You’re Invited to the Wedding I Planned in Middle School by Anjali Alwis and Patty Terhune in The New Yorker
The Daily Itinerary of THE BIRTHDAY GIRL by Taylor Kay Phillips on The Belladonna
4 BIBLE VERSES THAT DESCRIBE THE KICK-ASS BIRTHDAY PARTY THE APOSTLES WERE PLANNING FOR JESUS BEFORE THEY LEARNED HE WAS GOING TO DIE FOR OUR SINS by DAN CAPRERA ON MCSWEENEY'S
Some of my favorite pieces from Gracie:
A Typical Friday in Oregon, as Imagined by My East Coast Friends
I Won’t Eat This Tofurky Unless I Can Shove Stuffing Up Its Asshole
Scary Costumes for Women in Their 30s in 2 Ho Ho’s
What Does My MLM Sell? Financial Independence. Empowerment. Also Anal Suppositories. In Little Old Lady
Babies! Love em? Hate em? Have too many or not enough of em? Use babies as the starting point for today’s piece. Check out some of the creative ways people have written about babies:
Reasons My Baby Will No Longer Be Wearing a Diaper in Public by Lisa Argyle on McSweeney’s
Baby Shoes, Never Worn: The Twenty-Episode Podcast by Mike Lacher on McSweeney’s
Quiz: Trendy Name for a Baby Girl or Brand of Contraceptive? By Lindsay Hameroff On Frazzled
A Few Questions for My Wife’s Ob-gyn by Eddie Small on the New Yorker
I’ve Baby Proofed My Home, But They Keep Finding Their Way In by Betty Johnson on The Belladonna
Tips for Making Your Dive Bar More Baby-Friendly by Emily Niland on The Belladonna
Topic mash-up. Pick one item from the first column and one from the second column and mash those two up. The topics are still rather general, so get more specific when you pick one.
Column 1:
Climate change
The U.S. constitution
Agricultural subsidies
The Supreme Court
School Vouchers
Column 2:
Beauty Routines
Theme Parks
Podcasts
Drinking Games
Professional Sports
Some inspiration:
The Best Alcoholic Beverages to Pair with Potty Training by Alyse Knorr on McSweeney’s
Wine Pairings for Any Impending Impeachment Scenario by Stephanie Ashe on The Belladonna
Metallica’s Clue and Other Metal Board Games by TJ Dawe and Rob Del Medico on Points in Case
Today’s writing prompt comes from Alex Baia. You might know him from the writing challenge he runs or his great humor outlet Slackjaw (that he runs with Sarah James). His prompt: Write a dating profile for a famous literary or historical figure, or multiple short dating profiles for a group of related figures.
Most of the inspirational pieces below don’t follow Alex’s prompt, but they are still funny and somewhat related.
FUNNY WOMEN: BUMBLE PROFILES OF LITERATURE’S FAMOUS LADIES By Melissa Darcey on The Rumpus:
A Guide To Introducing The Guy Who’s Dating Three Other Women To Your Family by Laura Scott on the Belladonna
And some of my favorite pieces by Alex:
The Pros and Cons of Me Having a Kid on the New Yorker
Bumper Stickers For Tesla Owners (with Dan Caprera) on McSweeney’s
WELCOME TO OUR MODERN HOSPITAL WHERE IF YOU WANT TO KNOW A PRICE YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF
We Gave You A Traumatic Childhood Because We Love You And Want You To Be A Successful Artist on Slackjaw
BONUS! Alex also has some handy tips on humor writing. Check them out:
Today’s my birthday, so please indulge me with this prompt: write something about the decade you’re in (so if you’re 23, write about your 20s, if you're 53, your 50s).
Things I AmActually Aging Like, Instead of a Fine Wine By Lana Schwartz and Karl Spurzem
New Wave Album Or Things I Expect Out Of My Late Twenties? By Lillian Stone on the Belladonna
Disney Movies for Thirtysomething Spinsters by Sara K. Runnels on the Belladonna
Today’s prompt comes from the very funny Kristen Mulrooney. Her prompt: Write a break-up letter to your middle school self.
You may have noticed some of Kristen’s pieces in previous emails, but here are some of my favorite:
Writers love pieces about writers. Do other people love them – eh. But we’re writers, so let’s write some inside baseball. Give me a piece about writers (or other creatives).
If You Love to Write Just Wait Until You Try Not Writing by Kimberly Harrington in McSweeney’s
If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Writers by Ginny Hogan and Julia Edelman on the New Yorker
Comedy Writers’ Room Job Posting: Multiple Bens by Alice Lahoda on The Belladonna
Twelve Writing Prompts to Help You Finally Quit Writing by Nick DiMaso on McSweeney’s
Our Distraction-Free Writing Device Will Revolutionize Your Work Process by Ella Gale on McSweeney's
Welcome to the Tortured Artists Writers’ Residency by Justine Cotter on McSweeney’s
Advice for Writers Dating Non-Writers by ALEX McELROY on McSweeney's
Another skill to practice today – responding quickly! That’s right, today’s prompt is all about finding a news item that is newsy today and writing about it. Pick something that will be out of date by next week but that could provide comedy gold today.
If you’re thinking, but Kate, there’s nothing newsworthy today to satirize, give yourself three minutes to look through the news and pick the one that is scariest to write about. Or that you know the most about. Or that angers you. And remember, it doesn’t need to be news-news. It can be something about a TV show you watched last night or a podcast you listened to. Just pick something timely!
Writing fast and good is a skill (that you can learn). Here are some folks who have honed their craft:
We’re going to flex a different part of our brain. Today's prompt is all about illustrations. Some pieces just beg to be accompanied by a gorgeous drawing or a simple stick figure (the latter is the best I can do). So, think of something that would be funnier if drawn OR drawn with some text.
I often have ideas that I think would be better illustrated, but even my six year old tells me my drawings aren’t that great. So when I get an idea for an illustrated piece, I team up with someone who can draw.* Still, having a sketch – even if it’s really bad – can help them understand what I’m seeing in my mind. So don’t be intimidated by today’s prompt and instead, unleash your inner child. You can even draw with crayons! (If you want to draw on your iPad, I highly recommend the app Procreate – it’s less than $10 and it’s amazing. No sponsorship, but one of my illustrator buddies turned me onto it and it’s helped a ton).
As always, here are some examples to get you laughing and inspired:
Puppies Who Are Sad for Totally Legitimate Reasons By Jake Goldwasser on The New Yorker
Rejected Greeting Cards for Other Events That Happen on January 6th Written & illustrated by Emily Knapp and Jessica F. Lillian on Greener Pastures
Exciting New Flight Formations for Canadian Geese by Madeline Goetz on the Belladonna
What Comes After Dark Academia? Fashion Trends for 2022 Written by Jody Brooks & illustrated by Tracey Berglund on the Belladonna
I Would Like To Purchase Your Finest Single-Word Shirt by Alice Lahoda on Slackjaw
NINE TO FIVE: AN ILLUSTRATED DAY IN THE LIFE OF A MOM WHO DOES IT ALL by RACHEL DEUTSCH on McSweeney's
If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Writers by Ginny Hogan and Julia Edelman on the New Yorker
What Millennial Pandas Would Rather Do Instead of Sex by Cassie Soliday on Greener Pastures
Today’s prompt comes from Devorah Blachor. She is a fantastic writer and commentator on society and I’m always delighted when I see her name pop up on McSweeney’s.
Think of a public figure that has made you angry, and figure out how you'd want to mock them if you ever met them. Now write it all down!
Matt Gaetz Introduces His Other Children by Taylor Kay Phillips on The Belladonna
Some of my favorite pieces from Devorah:
Today we’re conquering math problems. Or word problems. Or math word problems.
Take a topic, add some numbers, and a punchline that maybe doesn’t compute with what you just wrote. Sound confusing? Take a look at some A+ examples:
MATH PROBLEMS FOR ENGLISH MAJORS BY E.Y. SMITHon McSweeney’s
Drunk-Logic Problems by Justine Cotter on the Belladonna
ENGINEERING WORD PROBLEMS FOR NEW PARENTS BY JEROME WHITINGTON on McSweeney’s
COVID Word Problems for Women by Sue D. Gelber on the Belladonna
WORD PROBLEMS FOR DESIGNING YOUR CHILDREN’S PERFECT SUMMER CAMP SCHEDULE BY SALLY MILLER on McSweeney’s
TALL WOMEN WORD PROBLEMS BY KRISTIN NALIVAIKA on McSweeney’s
MATH PROBLEMS FOR FACULTY ON THEIR UNIVERSITY’S REOPENING PLAN BY LAURA WRIGHT on McSweeney’s
Math Problems Written by a Teacher/Aspiring Rom-Com Screenwriter by Ivana He on the Belladonna
Let’s take a hard left turn. Start out a piece one way, and then give us something totally unexpected. Another way to think of this – take two totally unrelated topics and mash them together.
I normally give a bunch of examples, but A List of My Priorities by Django Gold does this so well – we start off with one topic and then a few paragraphs in – wham! – something totally unexpected happens. And it is delightful!
Today’s prompt is from the very funny Leslie Ylinen.
Write a Missing Persons Report/Police BOLO (be on the lookout). This could be a flexible vehicle for some great satire. What's gone missing? Your pre-pandemic optimism? Scientific literacy? Lean into police/law enforcement language and see where it takes you.
Here are some of my favorite pieces of Leslie:
We’ve got another guest prompt today, this time from the very funny Chas Gillespie.
Think of a difficult problem facing society that you have experienced personally. Now write a piece arguing persuasively for a solution to that problem that is a bad idea and/or makes no sense.
Some of my favorite pieces from Chas:
Let’s use a children’s story as our base – take it to explain a grown-up idea. Or update it for these strange times. Or just riff on the really weird messages some children’s books have. Ready, set, go!
Frog and Toad Are Self-Quarantined Friends by Jennie Egerdie on McSweeney’s
Inside Out 2: The Emotions of 2018 by Julie Parker on The Belladonna
Children’s Books in the Time of COVID by KATE ANTONIADES on Weekly Humorist
“Yellowjackets,” but with Other TV Teens by Maggie Olmsted and Katie Barsotti on The New Yorker
We started with form yesterday, so today let’s start with the topic. Parents. Specifically, tell me what your parents think about you. Or what they get wrong about your job. Or opinions on where you should live. Or how you should call them more often. Or what other people think your parents think about you.
Amendments to Your Wedding Guest List From Your Mom by MICHAEL LEONETTI and CASSIE SOLIDAY on Weekly Humorist
AITA: Reddit Posts by Movie Parents by Fiona Taylor in The Belladonna
CARTOON: Gravestones, As Written By Your Parents by JAKE GOLDWASSER on Weekly Humorist
If I Moved Back to My Hometown, As Envisioned by My Parents by EMILY DELANEY on McSweeney’s
Every Asian American Celebrity Interview BY GRACE ZHOU on McSweeney’s
HOW TO GET A WRITING JOB IN HOLLYWOOD ACCORDING TO MY PARENTS by ERIN CHACK on McSweeney’s
Advice My Parents Gave Me Versus Advice I Will Give My Kids By Danielle Kraese and Irving Ruan on The New Yorker
A Nice Piece of Satire You Can Take Home To Your Parents by Mia Mercado on The Belladonna
Distance Learning Teachers’ To Do Lists As Imagined By Parents On Social Media by Amy Estes on The Belladonna
Today’s prompt is all about form. Give me a quiz. That’s it. That’s the whole prompt. Now get writing!
A Short Quiz for My Students in Lieu of Asking About Their Vaccine Status or Requesting that They Wear Masks by Victor Ray on McSweeney’s
Quiz: Are You The Worst Fucking Parent? by Kristen Mulrooney on McSweeney’s
Self-Care Conundrums by Ginny Hogan on The New Yorker
We Can’t Ask Your Age in This Job Interview, but Please Take This Quiz About Rotary Phones by Wendi Aarons and Devorah Blanchor on the New Yorker
Is He A Serial Killer Or Does He Just Have Weird Taste In Interior Decor? By Sophie Hayssen on the Belladonna
QUIZ: Youthful Indiscretion or Resignation-Worthy Scandal? By Laura Slade Lewis in the Belladonna
Today's prompt is from Alice Lahoda. Write a piece that incorporates song lyrics somehow.
Need some inspiration? Check out these song-inspired pieces:
Every HOA Ordinance Violated in the Song “Our House” by Madness by Alice Lahoda on McSweeney's
Airbnb Reviews For The Love Shack by Karen Gilmore on Slackjaw
Quiz: Country Song Lyric or Late Night Text from Your Ex? by Molly Pennington on The Belladonna
Major Tom: The NASA Investigation by George Meyer on Shouts & Murmurs
Popular Song Lyrics Adjusted for the Gig Economy by Lizzie Logan on McSweeney's
And some of my favorite pieces from Alice (including a wonderful recap of her 2021 writing and submission process, which is well worth a read, especially if you've ever felt like you've gotten so many rejections you just need to give up. Spoiler alert - don't!);
Let’s talk love. And Presidents. Use either Valentine’s Day or President’s Day to inspire your work. Maybe you’ll write about what Presidents do for each other on Valentine’s Day. Or maybe you’ll use the holiday as a jumping off point, combining it with a current news event. Or maybe you’ll go illustrated and make us some V-Day cards. It’s up to you!
Inspiration:
I Believe That Marriage Is a Sacred Union by Taylor Kay Phillips in the New Yorker
Some (More) Things That Are Worse Than Being Alone on Valentine’s Day by Ali Farfinkel on McSweeney’s
The First Female President by Cara Michelle Smith on McSweeney’s
Who Am I Forgetting? By Chris White on McSweeney’s
Amazing Trivia About Every U.S. President Almost Too Unbelievable to be True by Matt Passet on McSweeney’s
Today’s prompt comes from Bobbie Armstrong.
Pick an animal and write from its perspective. Could be your dog, a random squirrel you see at the park who seems to have an attitude, or your childhood pet goldfish.
Here are some animal-inspired pieces (though not necessarily written from the animal’s perspective):
Seize the Day… Tomorrow by Jory John and Alyssa Machle John (And here’s a whole bunch of Animals Got Problems comics to inspire you).
Welcome to the Wikipedia Article for Ducks, You Fucking Moron by Brett Shollenberger
Everything We Currently Know About Birds by Steve Etheridge
I Have Decided to Live the Remainder of My Life as a Simple Woodland Creature by Maureen McEly
Do Not Feed the Duck – You Will Only Enable Him by McKayley Gourley and Madeline Goetz
And here’s some of my favorites from Bobbie:
The Problem With American Medicine Is That It’s Not Specialized Enough on Weekly Humorist
It Would Be Un-American to Support Legislation That Doesn’t Directly Benefit Me in McSweeney’s
Summer in New York in an Increasingly Hot Climate is Not a Good Enough Reason to Bare Your Shoulders in Public in McSweeney’s
I Did Nothing But Smoke Weed For Six Months, and Now I’m an Olympic Athlete in McSweeney’s
Time to take on the beauty industry. Tear down outdated beauty standards. Or build fantastic new ones. Make it scathing or silly, write it or draw it. Just get it done!
Here are some of my favorite pieces about beauty (or striving for it). And while most of these are about women, please take on standards for men too!
Who Wore It Better: A Professionally Styled Model, or Me? by Hannah Matthews on McSweeney’s
As a Body-Positive Swimsuit Brand, We Refuse to Retouch Our Already Flawless Models by Lindsay Hameroff in McSweeney’s
My Secret To Glowing Skin: Constant Ovulation by Rebecca Anderson on Slackjaw
Welcome to Gray: The Premiere Island Hideaway for Women of a Certain Age by Ali Kelley on McSweeney’s
I’m Ready For My Slightly Overdue Bikini Wax In Your Salon by Nikki Campo in the Belladonna
I’m Your Sudden Onset Adult Acne, And I’m Here to Destroy Your Face, Your Week, and Your Dignity by Amy Currul in McSweeney’s
You’re a writer. Writers are creative with language. Today, explain how language works. Or define words for us in a new way. Or make up entirely new words. Or go deep on a phrase. I have a ton of examples for you today:
Collective Nouns for Parenting by Julie Vick and Sally Miller in McSweeney’s
New Irregular Verb Conjugations by Elizabeth Preston in McSweeney’s
15 Words to Describe Quarantine Feelings Missing from the English Language by Julie Tremaine in The Belladonna
Fitness Terms and What I Assume They Mean by Eli Burnstein in the New Yorker
Vocabulary, Grammar, and Phrasing for People Over Fifty by Carol K. Finley
Real* German Words That Describe Our Mixed Feelings About the End of Lockdown by Lauren Davis in The Belladonna
Other Baseball Idioms by Joe Wellman in Slackjaw
Your Baby Is Going to be Such a Lady-Killer by Devorah Blachor in McSweeney’s
Today’s writing prompt comes from the very talented Elizabeth Preston. You can read some of her hilarious pieces here here here here and one of my absolute favorites, Hello I’ll Be Your Toddler Tour Guide for This Trip Out the Front Door.
The prompt: Write and/or sketch a piece in the style of instructions for assembling IKEA or other flat-pack furniture. (You can find assembly instructions online for inspiration!)
Pick a technology and explain it. Doesn’t matter if you explain it properly or not, or if you even understand the technology. As in the pieces below, your POV can be from now or in the future.
Some great tech pieces to spark your creativity:
I’m Selling the Very Sentence You’re Reading as a Non-Fungible Token by Michael Leonetti in McSweeney’s
My January Exercise Journal With My New Workout Mirror! by Briana Haynie and Caitlin Kunkel in Weekly Humorist
Technology That My Kids Will Have to Explain to Me by Theora Kvitka in the New Yorker
I Cannot Begin to Tell You How Proficient I Am in Microsoft Word by Eli Burnstein in the New Yorker
Let's start with something short and sweet. Write a list that ranks something in your life - the more personal, the better. Need some inspiration? Check out these brilliant pieces that use ranking to amp up the laughter:
Questions I’ve Texted My Dad, in Ascending Order of How Disappointed He Was to Receive Them by Maeve Dunigan in the New Yorker
The Nine Months of Pregnancy, Ranked from Worst to Best by Kristen Mulrooney in McSweeney's
Baby-Sitters Club Characters Ranked In Order of How Likely They Are to Start a True Crime Podcast That Preys on White Women’s Fears and Props Up the Prison Industrial Complex by Hayley DeRoche in McSweeney’s